I would like to have a few more children. Q will be 11, and T will be almost 10, so two more around the ages of 8 and 6 would be great. I would like to finally own our own home. Have a little money in the bank, and be well on our way to debt free (keeping in mind that I do have student loans--yuck!). Since the kiddos would all be school age, I would love to be in the classroom or better yet a school librarian. I would hope that I would finally be sealed for Time and All Eternity to my one and only, along with our children, of course.
Mostly, I want the nightmare that I am living right now to be over. I want my husband home. I want him to be happy and healthy and 100% here. I want to be able to feel like I can trust people and a system that I used to believe in wholeheartedly. I want to look back on 2012 and probably 2013 as just a faded memory of something I HAD to do once. I want the hurt and the bitterness and the anger to have finally left my body. I want to know that I did the right things and made the right decisions. I want to see how I have become a better, stronger person. I want to have learned from my mistakes and applied that knowledge to our future life. I want to occasionally feel calm and peace.
Maybe I will get all these things. Chances are that there will be new and different challenges for me to face ten years from now. I feel as if life is just one big challenge and those moments of peace and happiness are only a small rest from what is next. So, maybe I'll need an attitude adjustment in the next ten years too. Only time will tell.
1 comment:
I think your insights and goals are absolutely beautiful. I know that you and Nick CAN and will make this happen.
And- I am happy you are looking to the temple. Just that shows your substantial growth!
Finally, life is always a challenge. At least for me. Some are more heart wrenching than others, though. You know- both for me and for you!!!
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