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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New for the School Year

So, the school year in Colorado has started and now the school year in Texas has started. I have started nothing. Essentially this means that I am officially not working this school year.

Okay, okay...I am will be subbing in the district in which we live. For some reason, that isn't real work to me. It is getting paid $80/day to babysit. Not my idea of a real job or even real work. I know! All districts need good subs. Teachers love good subs. I can probably work almost everyday. However, even working everyday as a sub, I bring home less than $15,000 for the year. It almost doesn't feel worth it. Any money is welcome, but when you are used to earning your own money...this is just insane!

I keep thinking that there is something--something important--I am supposed to learn from this. Maybe it is how to be dependant without feeling it. Maybe it is to learn how to communicate with Nick even better than we already do. I just don't know. I want to be working. I want to feel like we are going to make it financially...and I am terrified that we won't. I guess that is a pretty common fear these days, huh? Not exactly a comforting thought.

I am grateful that Nick has a good job. We are continually blessed as he continues to do well with his work. Perhaps I need to learn to be thankful for the things I do have. I'll work on it.