Time Spent with My Love

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Monday, January 16, 2017

Be Brave

Courage is found in unlikely places. ~J.R.R. Tolkien

It has taken me some time to decide what, exactly, I wanted to focus on in this 2017 year. However, in a conversation I had with a friend of mine--one of those crazy soul mate kind of friends with whom I have never actually met face to face--it occurred to me that it is time for me to stop living the life I have been and focus on really living my life. I am sure I have said it to people a thousand times, but I will type it again here: I have been in survival mode/barely getting by for far too long. The biggest crisis of my life thus far happened when I was just a tender 32, and I JUST TURNED 37, for goodness sake! It is high time that I dug myself out of the hole I have been hunkered down in and figure out this life thing! I am ready to have FUN again. I don't want to be a casual observer anymore. I don't want to watch other people have the time of their lives while I hide in my house under the guise of needing to always take care of my children. Do you know how happy they are (well, minus Beau, but he is clingy boy these days) when the momma leaves them to play with someone else? THEY LOVE IT! 

I'm rambling...honestly though, how does a person actually DO this? How do I become braver in my life? How do I convince myself in the moment to take risks? Will I remember to say yes when my first instinct is to say no? When doubts and fears start to take over--which they obviously easily do--will I be able to push them away? 

My half-life (yes, I know that sounds rather Voldemort-ish) needs to come to an end. I'm a pretty fascinating person with a really fascinating story to share. I deserve all the good things, but good things don't just happen when you are sitting around waiting for them. I need to be an active participant in life. In the world. In my community. Good grief, you guys. I am going to be a freaking mother of four this year! You cannot be a mother of four and be boring. You just can't! 

So, I will do my best to update the blog better this year about all the really fabulous, terrifying, exciting and fascinating adventures I am going to have this year. Yes, pregnant and all. This is happening!

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

It Has Been So Long...

And I wish I had more to say! We have been super busy in the business of growing/playing/learning around this joint! So, let me offer a brief update on each family member.

Nick: Happy. Home. New job--again, but this one is a keeper. He is so busy, and while I hear every single day that he doesn't have enough hours in the day--he loves what he is doing, and he is back in a place where they recognize his potential and love him. I am SO glad. Life is much better when he leaves daily to head to a job he enjoys that keeps him challenged.

Jen: LuLaRoe is busy. The kids are super busy. The house is chaos--but manageable. So, you could say that everything is peachy-keen, jelly-bean. I am headed to a fun pop-up this evening, and I really need to load my car, so I am blogging instead. Don't worry. I still have time.

Quincy: Kindergarten life is the best life. She LOVES school. Her teacher. Her classroom. Her friends. She is learning so much, and I love to hear all about school every day. And, I get an earful every single day. She is growing leaps and bounds, and I have to say that as much as I love this stage, the sassy glimpse I get into her teenage years is a bit frightening. Sigh. She's mine.

Tessa: Tessa really just wonders why she can only go to preschool for 1/2 a day four times a week. She loves it, and now that Quincy is gone a full day five days a week, she sees no need to be wasting time at home. Seriously. She starts to ask me at 8:15 if it is time for preschool yet (11:45 is start time) and doesn't stop until we are grabbing her back pack. Her teacher is wonderful, and she is a friend and a preschool leader this year. She has great friends, and her favorite part of preschool is bringing something to share. Which she can do everyday.

Beau: Finally weaned at almost 16 months. Finally walked at 16 months. Still spends most nights in our bed. He loves to talk, and while his main form of communication is still pointing and grunting (he is a total caveman), he says, thank-you, bye-bye, momma, dad, and trash. He will sign please and all done. He makes a few animal sounds--but eventually every animal just sounds like a dog.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Summer Blog Challenge #8: A Skill or Talent I Wish I Instantly Had

Okay. Really. There are SO MANY talents I wish I instantly had. Like being able to automatically command a room or always being able to say the right thing or being approachable. I see these as being talents, but really the talent I wish I had more than anything in the world is the talent and gift of music...

Yes, I am fairly musical. I can carry a tune and minimally play the piano and the clarinet. I understand that this is more than many have been blessed with, and I am grateful. I love music. I love to sing. I love to dance with my children. I love to plink out a song on the piano. I love it.

However, I wish I could instantly sit down and play any song on the piano. I wish I could compose. I wish I could write killer lyrics. I wish I could play many instruments. I wish I could play the piano, the violin, the guitar, and more! I would love to be one of the blessed ones who can express themselves through music all the time. I know people like this. I'm related to people like this.

This is the talent I would love to instantly have, and I would love to be able to use that magical talent as a catalyst for good.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Summer Blog Challenge Post #7: Movie I Want to Live In

If you know what movie this is...well, you win!

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Summer Blog Challenge Post #6: Favorite Smells


Homemade bread


Freshly bathed baby

Polo Black on my handsome hubby

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Summer Blog Challenge Post #5: If I Could Change the World...

If I could change the world...

Candy would be a food group. The sun wouldn't burn. And power hungry people wouldn't exist.

If I could change the world...

People would listen to one another with an open mind and heart. Violence wouldn't beget violence. People would try to help one another.

If I could change the world...

My worry for my children would only be that they outgrow their fear of monsters under the bed, and I would not have to worry about them meeting monsters in the street.

If I could change the world...

Women would know how powerful and beautiful they are! Men would know how important and essential they are in their children's lives! People would understand that we NEED one another. Men and women working together to create a beautiful world.

If I could change the world...

Babies would always be safe and loved. Children would be able to run and explore without fences. Our teenagers would learn the value of work mixed with play.

If I could change the world...

We would once again be "One Nation Under God Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for All".

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Summer Blog Challenge Post #4: My Dream Home

I dream about homes a lot. I look at everything that is surrounding us in hopes that we can someday soon actually purchase a home. We got a little sidetracked from the home dream, and, as I think I have mentioned before, dreaming about anything has been really hard for me. So, I look at the houses for sale in our current area on a regular basis, and I dream about the day we can become home owners. (It still feels really far away.)

However, my dream home is really less about what my house looks like and more about what it FEELS like. I want to have a home filled with well-worn books, warm colors, delicious smells, laughter, lots of songs. I want a home where everyone who enters feels welcome. A home where people feel like family--whether they are related or not. I want a home with a piano that someone is often playing. A home where the kitchen in always buzzing. A place to open the cupboards and find plenty. A place where we never want for love and affection and safety.

My dream home is a landing pad for friends and family. A place to hide away from troubles for a few hours and re-energize. I want a home that feels like a hug.

Look, I know I have a long way to go to create this kind of sanctuary. I know that this home is a constant work in progress. But, my home is filled with love. My home is filled with laughter and little kids playing, and imagination! My home is filled with a family I have worked hard to build. A family I fought for for a long time. Now, as I am fighting to regain my sense of self and to better appreciate my own self-worth, my home is a place for me to fall apart a little in order to rebuild. My home is my dream home with all my dream people present and accounted for.