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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Warning: Random Rant

Just in case you were all wondering if I am actually turning into a bitter old hag, here is the rant to prove it. I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm sick of having to depend on people to do their jobs and know their own policies and being let down again and again. I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter...someone recently told me that my little family is collateral just can't be helped. Well, peeps, guess what?! I am tired of being a casualty and of being so nice about it.
Once upon a time I thought we lived in a country that cared about what happened to the people who were a part of it. My recent experiences have quickly taught me otherwise. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that there are not adequate people and programs out there to help people who have needlessly become victims of other's choices.
I used to feel completely alone in a crowded room for absolutely no reason. These days I sit in a crowd and know that I am alone. (Okay, not really...see post about Angels.) I am fighting a fight that no one else can fight for me, and when you are in the middle of that--the universe is a lonely place.
Today I spoke with someone who shared with me a policy that I was not informed of yesterday when dealing with a small problem. Today's phone call should have resolved said issue without a hitch--until I was informed of a call center policy that a) completely changes when I can get this issue resolved b) is not posted anywhere on this companies website for people to see AND c) I should have been informed of yesterday. Had I known about this policy to begin with, NO BIG DEAL. I would not have been happy, but I would have dealt with the issue. However, not only was I not told the policy, I was given information that goes against this policy to begin with! Oh, and then I was unable to talk to a supervisor. She was "in a meeting." Sigh.
This is only one small example of the policy and procedure issues I have been running into lately. No one seems to be really sure how to do their job, and when I have to call and TELL a person what their policies are and what they can and cannot do, there is a problem. Who is running this place? It certainly is not the people who should be.
Let me acknowledge that I am not a perfect person. I have never NOT screwed something up in a job I have held. I make mistakes all the time, and I do my best to fix them and learn from them. I feel as if I would be okay if just once, someone would say, "I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Here is what we are going to do to fix it." However, I have not once encountered that. It is always someone else's fault--often times the blame gets passed right on back to me. It is frustrating beyond frustrating and if I could just not deal with any of it, I would be a happy girl. However, there is a lot for me to deal with, and I will no longer take the blame or smile and say, "okay, thank you." I used to think that I would get further with honey, but that is no longer working for me. So, watch out. I'm a-coming, and I'm prepared for a fight.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Quincy is 15 months old

Okay, so she was actually 15 months old almost a week ago, but we went to the doctor today for her well check, and I just can't help but write about how amazing my girl is. I am a parent, and as such, I have the extreme duty and right to brag about my little girl. Considering the crazy circumstances that surrounded her birth, she is just--dare I say it?--perfect!
While she is not quite walking yet (seriously, I am not in a hurry for that), she is standing and talking and yelling and testing her independence like any 15 month old should. I am quite proud of her 10 words (8 spoken and 2 signed), and love, love, love hearing her tell people "dye-dye" (which is, of course, bye-bye) and barking like a dog whenever she sees or hears a dog. She will say DOG, but it comes out like cute.
At 30 and 1/2 inches tall and 20 lbs. 11 oz., she just seems so long and lean to me these days. Of course, she is into everything! She will let me know when she is mad--usually at me! And she turns into a beast when she is tired. So, she is perfect. I feel so blessed to be her mom.