I have been looking for the words to write to appropriately pay tribute to my Gram. She left us unexpectedly and too soon on January 12th. Here is what I have discovered. My thoughts on this range from anger that she's gone to guilt that I didn't see her more to frustration by how lonely she was these past (almost) seven years without Gramps to relief and happiness that they are together again--and I just cannot seem to find the words to express it all. I guess because mixed in with all of these different emotions is the disbelief that she is no longer on this Earth. I'm not kidding. I feel like we are going to empty her house and I am going to continue to tell myself that she is gone, BUT...I really don't believe it. Because I don't. I know that it will hit me one day. I really hope I am all alone when it does because it won't be pretty.
|Gram and I at my graduation from Regis.|
Because we lost Gram, this:
happened. Yep. All six of our girls were able to be together for the first time. That was an amazing experience. The babies are obviously oblivious, but to watch the three older cousins run around and play together--well, it was an amazing and interesting experience. They love each other!
Remember how I have this huge goal to lose a person from my body--well, the above event didn't really help with that. I'm a stress eater. I guess the good news is that I haven't gained any weight...BUT, well, the scale isn't going down either.
I have had several people express their concern that my goal is too high. That I am trying to lose too much. Let me assure you that I am not. I have spent my entire life overweight. I'm not even overweight now, guys. I tip the scale at morbidly obese on the charts. Yeah. Not joking. So, I'll chip away at my goal. This week, I'll try to lose two pounds. Easy enough. I don't need to drop 10 this week or 7 or even 5. Just two! I can do that.