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Big Sister, Big Girl

I was entirely unprepared for what would happen to Q when we brought T home. Q has been my baby--still is my baby--but when there is a brand new baby in the house, suddenly your 19-month-old becomes a big kid, a big girl, and (in this case) a really incredible big sister. She has taken T under her wing with ease and care! Q demonstrates a protectiveness for her baby sister that I find totally endearing. They are amazing together, and I cannot believe my good fortune.

Q wants to hold T all the time, and when we allow her to do that with the assistance of the Boppy and an adult, she climbs up on the couch and giggles and giggles! She loves to help me feed T a bottle (as we are both bottle and breastfeeding right now), and when T begins to stir from a nap, Q will run to the kitchen to get her milk for her. Seriously?! Love these girls!

One Week, One Beautiful Family, One Sad Little Reflection

I suppose I should warn you, today is an emotional day. It did take me a whole week to get to the point where I feel as if I could cry, and cry, and cry all day if I let myself. For all of you who are suddenly worried that I have post-partum depression, let me just remind you that the over-emotional state is very normal for a mom right now. I know that I have extra on my plate, and I promise that I am keeping tabs on me too. I don't want to plunge into the depths of despair. I will say something if, in fact, this mood and these emotions carry on for too long. That being said...
Miss Tessa is a week old today! We have only been home since Friday, and it is soon to say, but so far, my baby has been a pretty mellow little thing. We are working vigorously to put weight back on her as she dropped 10% of her body weight while we were in the hospital. She does, however, eat like a champ and sleeps great! Even at night, we are only up twice for feedings. I will attribute some of this to the Miracle Blanket that we received as a gift when we had Q (it seriously saved our sanity and our lives), but really, she is just a great baby! And so pretty! I can hardly believe that my beauties are mine!



My friend, Ruth, was here visiting today from Texas. We can't believe T is here and a week old already!

I am so blessed to have my mom and Kelli here. They are doing and have done so much. I wish I could say that having people here makes me miss Nick less, but today I am missing him more than ever. I am having a day when other couples just make me angry. Their happiness and togetherness makes me want to scream. Life isn't fair, and today, my life really isn't fair. I have made my choices, and I live the consequences of those choices daily. It just is hard to also live with the consequences of other people's choices. That right there is what makes marriage so hard. Living with the consequences of another's choice. I do it, though, not because I am Wonder Woman; not because I should be anyone's example; not because I am wife of the year, but because I believe that some things are worth fighting for. Some things are worth sacrificing for...and my family, my husband, my children are worth every tear, every bad day, every hard thing I have to do that I just don't wanna! And, guys, today, I just don't wanna!
All right. I have complained enough. Believe it or not, I am trying to not complain. I want to stay optimistic, upbeat, and positive. I am very lucky and very blessed in so many ways. I can also say that I don't think it is okay to always be that way when sometimes I just don't feel so great. Maybe I don't have to share so openly and public, but for some reason I feel compelled...maybe someone else needs to be okay with feeling yucky. Because it is okay. Feel yucky. Let it out. Talk it through. Find a friend with broad shoulders to cry on. Say a prayer. Take a deep breath, and the smiles will come back. I still smile every day. I laugh. I sure as hell love, and I know that somehow, someway, we will all be okay.

Introducing...

The Sadler Family is proud to introduce Miss Tessa Marie to the world. She joined us rather unexpectedly three weeks early on Tuesday, July 17th. Once again, I had to have a c-section birth to avoid the mild preeclampsia symptoms I experienced from becoming the severe symptoms I had with Quincy. This was a very different experience than last time, and I am so thankful that both my doctors and I were able to recognize that something was amiss early on. 

Tuesday was my regularly scheduled doctor's appointment. I was slightly worried because I had started to swell over the weekend. It is easy to blame the heat, but I was worried that the swelling was more than just heat induced. So, when I stepped on the scale and I had gained 10 lbs in a week (another telling sign) I just knew that my blood pressure was going to be high. Sure enough! The nurses took my pressure a few times and it registered consistently in the 140's/90's. This is not the worst it has ever been, but it is not the best either! 

I was instructed to go to the hospital and have my lab work done while being observed. My labs came back fairly normal, but there was a little too much protein being shed from my body for the doctor to be comfortable. At 8:00pm she came in and told me that they would be ready to perform my c-section in about an hour. 

We called everyone, and Adam and Kara walked in the door right around then. As they prepped me for surgery, Q needed to wear a silly hat too. This was a late night for her, but I really needed her there. Plus, I selfishly wanted to see my girls together before sending Q home for bed. 

Kelli was my coach in the OR. She was a trooper, and she wasn't even nervous about the body parts she saw that generally reside inside my body. She was very focused on baby girl, and she went with T to get weighed and cleaned up too. 

I prayed that my little one would be at least six pounds, so imagine my delight (and shock) when she weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz! Barely a term baby, and she is so big! 

Uncle Adam and Aunt Kara introduced the girls to one another, waited for me to make it back to the room, and then took my tired girl home and put her to bed. So thankful for them! Kelli stayed with me until about 1:30am when I was moved into the post-partum room. I snuggled and fed and snuggled my new little girl some more!

We are all shocked and thrilled by the dark hair that T sports! She is a pretty little thing! Because my symptoms were so mild this time, I didn't have to spend any time hooked up to magnesium (such an awful experience), and we watched my blood pressure fall back into normal range quickly and without incident. Thank goodness for that blessing! 

My mom and

Nick's mom were here to help me with Quincy and the house and everything else the first few days. My mom will stay for a few weeks--at least until I can drive again--and Cindy and Desi will be back in August for a short visit. 

So, here we are...home, happy, healthy and ready to get this two kid thing figured out! We miss Daddy every day, and we are so excited to have him back with us again. 

37 Down; 3 To Go

Well, well, well, what do you know?! I can carry a baby to term. Yay! Here we are at 37 weeks, and I am breathing a sigh of relief. She can come any time she wants to come now. Because of the steroid shots I received week 33, I am really not worried about her lung development. I think she is just fine. These days I feel as if she is really LONG! I can no longer bend over and pick things up off the floor. I cannot reach my feet to save my life. I have to sit straight as an arrow or leaning back. No slouching for this momma! All these  things make me very nervous and very happy. The time is upon us. Baby T will be here before I know it.

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Turn, Baby, Turn!

Well, we have made it to 36 weeks and 1 day. Today was my doctor's appointment, and I went in with high hopes that Baby T had flipped. She has been so active these past few days, and I think she has shifted. So, I hoped and prayed all the way to the doctor's office. Needless to say, I was disappointed. The nurse felt her little feet. Great. She is in a different position, but not the position I need her to be in! Little pill! 

Then, as I watched Q dance around the office, it hit me...she was three weeks old when I should have been 36 weeks pregnant with her, and once again I marveled. 

She was already about a pound bigger here than she was when she was born. Crazy! 

I promise I will be happy with a healthy baby. I just would like her to come in a more natural way than being cut out of me. It might be too much to ask. 

Oh, the randomness of it all!

As Q and I drove to church this morning, I was watching the people playing tennis at the community park close by and then again at the swim and tennis club up the street and wondering what life is really like for those who don't attend church on Sundays. No judgement here, but even when I wasn't as actively involved in my religion as I am now, I could never really bring myself to go and DO things on Sunday. It must just be so ingrained in me that Sunday is a day of rest that I don't know how to do anything else. Granted, I am not perfect at keeping the Sabbath day holy. I was just merely observing life around me and thinking.
Then at church today, Miss Q attended nursery for the first time. This is something they can do when they turn 18 months. It was a strange feeling to not have her running all over the hallways ad to be free to attend class. Granted, this is happening just in time for T to make an arrival, so we will start all over again, but these next few weeks should be nice. By the way, she loved it! She loves playing with other kids, and there are TOYS and SNACKS! What more could a kid want?
Yesterday I went and tried acupuncture for the first time. It was an interesting experience. The acupuncturist only had to place needles in one spot on order to encourage T to flip over, but since I am so far along, she also placed more to help with labor. After a few minutes, she returned to see if baby was moving. Not only was baby moving, baby was running and wiggling and twisting. She went nuts! This is all a good sign that this will help her flip. I am feeling much better and more at peace today about this upcoming birth. I have faith that she will flip and I will get to experience a healthy VBAC like I want. I didn't have a choice with Q, but I still do with T.
Praying I get that official job offer this week after a very successful interview last week. Part-time. Work from home. Just perfect for this girl and my little family!

More in the pregnancy saga...

Sigh! Baby T is sitting breech right now. My OB actually had the c-section conversation with me at my appointment. Then I had a small panic attack and flipped out on the hubs on my drive home. Here is the thing. Because I had to have an emergency c-section with Q, I didn't have a lot of time to think about what was actually happening to me. This didn't stop me from picturing my escape from the hospital while I was waiting all alone in the OR to get me epidural. I was only alone for a second, but in that time, while I sat and shivered on the table, I had a vision of running away...and crazy me thought that would probably fix it all. Ha!  I had a lot to focus on after that c-section. A new preemie. My blood pressure. My stressed out husband. Recovery wasn't all that bad. However, I cannot imagine trying to do that now. A new baby, an 19/20 month old, and a long recovery time?! No! No! No! No! No! I know that there are lots and lots of people who are totally willing to help me through new baby time. There are friends and family who would love nothing more than to come and live with us through that time. I am so thankful for them all. I will need their help regardless of how this kiddo makes her debut into the world. However, you all know that the independent girl in me is FREAKING OUT right now. Is it any wonder Miss Q needs to do things by herself? She's my kid! 

Anyway, I made a trip to Darnell Chiropratic this morning where a good friend from church is a chiropractor.  Not only did hid wife tell me to go get adjusted because it worked for her twice, but while I was sitting in the waiting room chatting with a lady who was waiting with her 3-month-old nephew, she told me that he was also presented breech and the Webster technique that chiropractors use to give baby more room to maneuver and flip worked for her sister as well. So, adjusted today, adjusted again tomorrow...we'll see what happens from there, and I am praying, praying, praying that this kid flips over.

This is what we are going for!

 

31 Day Blog Challenge: Quirk

Okay, I thought about this one all day. A quirk? Unless you have something that is really out there, I think this is a hard topic to write about oneself. So, I had to ask a sister. Kelli didn't have any idea either, so I pondered and pondered some more. Then I walked past my favorite thing on the wall in my living/dining room...and it hit me!

Yep! My quirk is my obsession with mirrors, or even more so, my general reflection. This is not because I am particularly vain. I like to look nice. I love to feel like I look, well, uber hot, but I am not really looking in the mirror for those reasons. I just look. I can't help it. I have monumental conversations with myself in the mirror. Life-changing things happen when I am talking something over with myself in any mirror I can find. This isn't a new thing. There are stories that float around about me talking to myself in the TV at my Grandad's house when I was very young...like before I could really form coherent sentences. It was the last thing he remembered about me when Dad, Adam and I drove over the mountain to say our final good-bye to him--me talking to myself in the TV. Makes my quirk seem a little less odd and a lot more special. 

31 Day Blog Challenge: Favorite Comfort Food

Easy! ALL THINGS BREAKFAST...and I am not just saying that because this baby has me craving eggs, sausage, french toast, hashbrowns, breakfast burritos, pancakes, waffles, potatoes, chicken fried steak and eggs...OH MY GOSH! My mouth is watering thinking of it all. If my morning wasn't already scheduled out tomorrow, you might find me at Village Inn--again.

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31 Day Blog Challenge: Top Things on My Bucket List

I wish I could say that I would love to travel the world, but quite honestly, I am pretty content to explore my homeland. There are a few places I think I need to see, and the one pictured above is my #1. Santorini, Greece. Please? I need to go there and see. Just see. 

It is no secret that I want to be published one day. It is a dream, but it is also one of the bigger things on my Bucket List. And, really, those two things take the cake. Nick and I have started to come up with a Bucket List of things we would love to try and do as a couple. Places to visit and goals to achieve, but neither list (individual and together) is very long. I don't want to look back on life and think about all the things I didn't get to check off. I would much rather look back at the end of my life and think, "Wow! Look at all I accomplished that I didn't even know I could do."