I watched my best friend get married this last weekend in Hawaii (post to come later), and I was so happy and so proud of the decision she made to marry the man she loves so dearly. It brought on so many emotions about my own wedding day. Our ceremony wasn't on the beach or in a church or at a Vegas wedding chapel--we simply went to the courthouse. Eleven people joined us during the judge's lunch hour when he agreed to take time out of his day to marry us. It was everything I ever wanted. I stood across from the man I loved so fiercely and repeated the sweetest vows, then exchanged rings and kissed him for the first time as husband and wife. Life since then has been a roller coaster of emotions. A bag of sweet success mixed with bitter failures, and I wouldn't trade a second of it for all the gold in the world.
I think that people want to romanticize marriage as this THING that fixes all the complexities of a relationship. It doesn't. Marriage doesn't fix people. It doesn't change people. The issues people have when they aren't married are the same that arise when they are. Often times, I think being married adds complexities to the relationship--it doesn't take them away. But it is worth it. Every second is worth it. Every fight, every argument, every hug, kiss and embrace...all worth it.
I fight every day for this marriage I am a part of. I fight to keep my family together, to keep us afloat. I am not a saint. I am a wife and a mother. I don't fight alone. My love fights with me, and sometimes that fight means that he fights for his life in order to create a better one for us. For this, I love him.
Today has been a hard day. No one wants to spend their anniversary apart, but as it is necessary right now, we soldier on and pray for a better one next year.
Our Wedding Day May 1, 2009
First Anniversary 2010
Bringing home Quincy January 2011
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