Today I am struggling, and I am not exactly sure I am strong enough to make it through this time in my life.
WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED THINKING ALL IS LOST.
I am tired. I am angry and hurt and incredibly scared.
COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE.
ARE YOU EVER BURDENED WITH A LOAD OF CARE?
I am completely overwhelmed with the things I have to do and plan for and think about these days. I am never sure what day it is or how I will make it through the week.
DOES THE CROSS SEEM HEAVY YOU ARE CALLED TO BEAR?
I worry about our house, our finances, our marriage, our daughter, and the one on the way. I worry about my health and the safety and well-being of my husband.
COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS; EVERY DOUBT WILL FLY, AND YOU WILL BE SINGING AS THE DAYS GO BY.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT OTHERS WITH THEIR LANDS AND GOLD.
I feel as if others are afraid to tell me about the good happening in their lives because life is rough right now. However, I feel exactly the opposite. Please don't cut me out of your happy life! I need reasons to celebrate, and I am always happy for other people.
THINK THAT CHRIST HAS PROMISED YOU HIS WEALTH UNTOLD.
Although, my sarcastic attitude is more along the lines of, "I better be storing up heavenly blessings." Probably not the proper attitude. I should work on that.
COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS; MONEY CANNOT BUY YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN NOR YOUR HOME ON HIGH.
SO AMID THE CONFLICT, WHETHER GREAT OR SMALL
Note: this is the hardest thing I have ever done. In fact, it is so big and so hard that I am often terrified for what the rest of my life has to offer. We are on this earth to be tested, and I assume that those tests will only become harder and harder, which frightens me to no end.
DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, GOD IS OVER ALL
Does anyone else ever think, "Are you kidding me?" Not being discouraged has got to be the most ridiculous request. Although, I don't think that is exactly the point. Just as we are meant to feel pain and loss and failure, we are meant to feel discouraged. I like to think that the point is not to live in Discouragement Land.
COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS; ANGELS WILL ATTEND, HELP AND COMFORT GIVE YOU TO YOUR JOURNEY'S END.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS; NAME THEM ONE BY ONE. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS SEE WHAT GOD HATH DONE.COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS; NAME THEM ONE BY ONE. COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS SEE WHAT GOD HATH DONE.
1. Quincy: she is without a doubt the single biggest blessing in my life. Without her, I would not have a reason to get up in the morning or smile throughout the day. My Father in Heaven knew exactly what he was doing when he blessed me with her amazing spirit.
2. Believe it or not, being back in Colorado (even though Nick is in Texas right now) is a blessing. It doesn't always feel that way, but to have family close is a blessing.
3. Tessa: for those of you who don't know, this is the name of our next daughter. I often wonder why now--amid turmoil and havoc--is the time for her to come and join our family, but I have faith that she is all part of the plan. Not necessarily my plan, but a greater plan. She is proving already to be as great a blessing as her sister.
4. A home: while I often question how long we will be able to stay here, I am so grateful for this roof over our head and the neighbors we have here.
5. My sisters: without whom I would be lost. They listen to me cry and cry with me. They allow me to fall apart when I need to, which feels like a daily occurrence lately.
6. My brother and sister-in-law: who come and rescue me when I need them!
7. My mother-in-law: who does more for us than I think she knows, along with the rest of her family who are making my life easier and slightly less stressful whenever they can.
8. My father-in-law: who is a great support to his son.
9. Friends: who have supported me without judgement, let me fall apart, say the wrong things, be awkward and angry, and listen to my ramblings as needed.
10. Church: this is a community of people who, whether they know the details of my life or not, have welcomed us home with open arms and help us time and time again.
11. Nick: who loves me. Who loves his daughter(s). Who is struggling with his own struggles and still only worries about us. Who is my best friend. Who I love more deeply than I ever thought possible. Who will return to us with honor, and who I choose to stand by.
The text I used comes from a hymn, Count Your Blessings. Click on the link for the music and words.
2 comments:
I love this song. It too brought me comfort in my darkest days that weren't too long ago. There was once a time in my life when I was grateful when the sun went down but angry when it would come up again in the morning because life seemed too hard to continue on. It gradually changed to being grateful that each day would end and a new one begin-- symbolizing that life keeps going and that difficult times would indeed end just like each day ends and that each new day is a new experience and a new chance. Baby steps. Hugs :)
I somehow missed this gem three weeks ago. I love the way you played inside the lyrics. Very touching.
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