Remember when finding a prairie dog or a skunk in your backyard was cool? Remember how you just had to keep the dogs away and figure out how to help the poor little thing find its' way out of the window well or back to the field across the street? Remember when your neighbors didn't have roosters hanging out in their backyard in the middle of suburbia? I long for those days again, when I didn't have to listen to the crow of a rooster at all hours of the day. They crow at all hours of the day! Who knew? Certainly not this city girl. I do love me some nature--don't get me wrong--but I am NOT lovin' me some rooster. Today I am also not feeling like playing the grown-up game. Today I would really like to throw a hissy fit because things are not going the way I want them to. Today I want to be able to say exactly what I am thinking and how I am feeling to people and for there to not be any consequences to that. Today I don't want to be the bigger person. I don't want to be the grown up one. I want to be able to look right at those who are supposed to be my examples to live by and ask them what the heck they are thinking and doing. I just wonder why some people get to go through this world oblivious to how their choices and their words really hurt others, and the rest of us tiptoe around it as if it is okay. It's not okay! I'm not okay. I am frustrated, and I am upset. There is also nothing I can do about feeling these emotions except to try really hard to let them go. Don't think that I am not trying! I have been trying for months, but things keep happening, and I get hurt all over again. It doesn't help that my emotions are on a permanent roller coaster right now, and that ride is far from being over. So, today I rant and I will probably spend a good deal of time writing furiously and frantically in my journal to try and help ease my mind. It needs to be eased. There is a lot going on up there, and I need a place to store some of it before my head explodes!
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Feel better now?
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