What is True Love?

Oh, Hollywood! Thank you for giving me the most ridiculous expectations of love. I mean it. Truthfully, I live a love story that is stormy and challenging, and I need these moments to revel in the love story of someone much more tuneful in their love.

I used to spend Valentine's Day pining away for a true love! Someone who could and would sweep me off my feet. I can honestly say that I have been swept off my feet twice--and both of those relationships lasted but a moment--what will equate to mere seconds in Eternity, I am sure. That swept-off-my-feet feeling was fun. Not real. Lustful, really...the floor that I hit when my feet flipped over my head and reality rose up to meet me caused lots of bruises. Lots and lots of scrapes and torn ligaments. All this really was, was me stretching my love muscle. Learning what I want and do not want from a relationship, and let's be honest, testing my ability to forgive, to let go, to clean up, and to move forward.

"We should remember that saying 'I love you' is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love."

—David A. Bednar, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home", Liahona and Ensign, November 2009

"I love you" is such an important phrase. It means so much, and sometimes people throw it around too liberally. I think that often times we say, "I love you" just to hear it back. Just to confirm that we are indeed loved.

In order to be loved, you must give love. Love is not a material thing. You cannot buy it. You cannot buy someone's love with bribes or toys or treats or money. It doesn't work that way! You may secure affection for a short time, but attempting to bribe someone into loving you is a sure way to build resentment, anger, and eventual hatred.

I have been working on this post for DAYS. It is random. It is broken and may not really make sense. I am skirting around what I am really feeling this Valentine's Day. I appreciate that there is a day devoted to love. Not for the presents or the flowers or the chocolate. Not because I have always had someone, because I honestly have not. I have, however, always been loved. By my mother, my father, my sisters and brother. By my grandparents. By my friends. Valentine's Day should be a day that we take a moment just to remind the people we love that we love them! I mean, why not?! Don't join the hype if you don't want to, but don't knock this day of love.

My love story is a complex one. I will, once again, spend this day away from my Valentine thanks to forces out of my control. And, once again, as I evaluate the state of my current situation, I will say that while the road has been bumpy and the journey has already been long, I am more in love today than I was yesterday, and I will be more in love tomorrow than I am today. The fight for my family will likely never be over. Right now I travel a hard--and often lonely--road. And while this may not make sense, even in the loneliness, there is love.

So, Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers, the friends, the caregivers, the guardians, the grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, and parents. I'm sending all my love to you!