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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Power of a Voice

It is amazing how much I take for granted being able to hear the voices of those I love the most. It is even more amazing how, when one of those voices disappears, I adapt and adjust and somehow figure out how to make it through the day. Obviously this applies to losing someone I love dearly, but oddly enough, that was not what happened this time. Circumstances beyond my control dictated that I could not speak to my favorite person for an undetermined amount of time. That time ended yesterday, and suddenly, just with a simple, HI, my world had sunshine again. I was able to breath again I could stand a little taller and smile a little sincerer. You know, I am learning things right now that I never imagined I would have to learn, and the best part is, not all of it is bad! Our voices carry power. We can make or break a person's day by the way in which we speak to them. We can turn a day around with a simple hello, and I really hope I never forget that. 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter

"I Know That My Redeemer Lives" is one of my favorite hymns. I was watching this video today, and I realized that this year, this Easter, the sacrifice that Christ made for us through the Atonement has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I think I have finally reached the point where I understand what it feels like to forgive oneself. Not an easy feat, and not something I am sure I will be able to say I have totally accomplished in this life. However, I feel pretty at peace with who I am right now, and I assure you that that is saying a lot. I am in no way perfect, and I make mistakes daily, but the person I am today is much better than the person I was two months, six months, a year, or five years ago. Isn't that the goal? To get better with age?
I also am beginning to understand how the Atonement works to heal a person's heart and help them forgive. Forgiveness isn't an option, it is a commandment. I learned a long time ago that forgiving a person doesn't necessarily mean that they still have to be a part of your life. It is okay to forgive someone and let them go. Now I am learning how to forgive the person I love the most and preparing myself to move forward with that person. Somewhere in there, I am forcefully being taught patience as well, but I don't think that is a lesson anyone learns willingly.
I have heard time and time again that Christ will heal our hearts, and I always believed it. Here's the thing...He really, really will. This doesn't mean that I don't or won't have angry days, that I won't ever be upset or hurt by the events that unfold in my life--now or in the future. On the contrary. It is important to feel those feelings and sometimes express them. Then you can let them go, and I need to let them go. Until I do, I can't move forward, and I desperately need to move forward! I don't want to be stuck in this place forever. It is often dark here, and I am afraid of the dark places.
As always, I am grateful for my beautiful Q and also for our soon-to-be T. She/They keep me going and make life livable!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

My baby is walking!

With how much and how fast Q is growing, I could probably post something new about her growth and development every day. I love this time and this age where I can just sit back and WATCH her learn. She fascinates me when she encounters a problem, grows extremely frustrated, figures out a solution and glows in the praise, "YOU DID IT!" If only my life were as simple!
For weeks now I have been watching her hold--or barely hold--on to things to walk around the house. She pushes her push toys and practically runs around and around the house. So, it wasn't a surprise when she finally let go of the couch and took more than a step or two last night. She still won't try and walk anywhere but between the couches and the table in the living room, but she is walking! And she is SO proud of herself! As she should be!
So, good job, baby girl! Momma is so proud of you!