Courage is found in unlikely places. ~J.R.R. Tolkien
It has taken me some time to decide what, exactly, I wanted to focus on in this 2017 year. However, in a conversation I had with a friend of mine--one of those crazy soul mate kind of friends with whom I have never actually met face to face--it occurred to me that it is time for me to stop living the life I have been and focus on really living my life. I am sure I have said it to people a thousand times, but I will type it again here: I have been in survival mode/barely getting by for far too long. The biggest crisis of my life thus far happened when I was just a tender 32, and I JUST TURNED 37, for goodness sake! It is high time that I dug myself out of the hole I have been hunkered down in and figure out this life thing! I am ready to have FUN again. I don't want to be a casual observer anymore. I don't want to watch other people have the time of their lives while I hide in my house under the guise of needing to always take care of my children. Do you know how happy they are (well, minus Beau, but he is clingy boy these days) when the momma leaves them to play with someone else? THEY LOVE IT!
I'm rambling...honestly though, how does a person actually DO this? How do I become braver in my life? How do I convince myself in the moment to take risks? Will I remember to say yes when my first instinct is to say no? When doubts and fears start to take over--which they obviously easily do--will I be able to push them away?
My half-life (yes, I know that sounds rather Voldemort-ish) needs to come to an end. I'm a pretty fascinating person with a really fascinating story to share. I deserve all the good things, but good things don't just happen when you are sitting around waiting for them. I need to be an active participant in life. In the world. In my community. Good grief, you guys. I am going to be a freaking mother of four this year! You cannot be a mother of four and be boring. You just can't!
So, I will do my best to update the blog better this year about all the really fabulous, terrifying, exciting and fascinating adventures I am going to have this year. Yes, pregnant and all. This is happening!