Yes, I'm Complaining a Little Bit...

Mostly because I just have to get this frustration out somewhere, and this seems to be the only way I can do it. I have tried to write down many of my feelings in my personal journal, and that has helped me deal with some anger that I have at the moment, BUT...I'm just exhausted. I was looking back at my posts from April and March and I had mentioned something about how we had been sick for two weeks. Just two. Only two. I was tired then. I couldn't fathom that we would still be fighting various illnesses six weeks later. Yeah, eight weeks of colds and infections and viruses and bacterial infections and runny noses and coughs and stomach bugs and I AM JUST READY FOR MY CHILDREN TO BE HEALTHY AGAIN. That's all.

Do you guys realize that I haven't been to see The Great Gatsby yet? Yep. That's right. I haven't been to see this movie yet. Me. There just hasn't been time. Or money. Or time. 

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I also haven't actually been able to complete an entire workout in about a month. I went from Insanity to nothing...not for lack of trying. Sick kids and working out do not mix. Still eating great. Still loving my Herbalife, but no working out. Yes, I have still managed to drop a few lbs, but think about what that could look like working out! I miss it. I need it. For my mental and physical well-being. 

So, yes. I needed to complain a little. I needed a little pity party for myself. Yes, I feel a little better. No, I am not on a downward spiral into darkness again. I'm just tired. Of pretending that everything is okay. Of worrying. Of scheming and making plans that never work! Of letting people down and not meeting my own expectations. I can admit it. I need a break. I need a Jen break. So stupid that that makes me feel guilty. I'm tired and I need a break from my reality, and I feel so utterly guilty about feeling that way or needing that. I shouldn't feel guilty. Everyone needs a break. A rest. A siesta. I'm just not sure I remember how to do that.

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