Loss

It's a weighty thing, and I don't think any of us can be really sure how it will affect us or hit us from day to day. It hasn't been quite two months since we lost Gram, and I am feeling rather lost and a bit panic-y. When Nick was gone last year while I was pregnant with Tessa, I made him make a plan with me as to what would happen to our girls if, heaven forbid, something happened to me. While we were running errands yesterday, I needed to make sure he still knew the plan as we had discussed it as he will be away from us again for the majority of this year. No, I am not planning on leaving this Earth, but I don't want to ever be left without a plan. Yes, I am experiencing what I would call my postpartum days. In other words, I haven't felt this down and lowly in about five or six months--since T was a newborn. I'll work myself out of it. It's okay to be sad and a little lost sometimes. I'm sure that whatever waits for me on the other side of this fog is gorgeous!