Long time

It has been a long time since my last post, and I feel as if I am twelve and I need to update my diary as to what has been happening in my life since the last post.

Here I am...still in Colorado and not happy about it. However, I have a job and a place to live and a boyfriend (yes, still) who is in Texas and isn't ready for me to be there yet. Ouch--it still hurts to write that one. However, we are better than we have been in a while. Although, I hesitate to write that because everytime I feel as if we are better, something happens and we are not great again. He even said that he thinks that we are better, but we are not where we were five months ago. It remains to be seen if we will ever be there again.

This fact makes me sad, but what am I supposed to do. I am patient, but not always. I am kind, but not always. I am understanding, but not always. This is actually better. I don't hold back anymore and neither does he. When we are bothered by something, we say it. When we are angry or hurt, we say it. If we are looking for silver linings in this whole mess, I guess that is one of them. We have become better communicators. SIGH! I will take what I can get at this point.