Obsessed

Is it shocking that I am obsessed with my daughter? Nope! I have an app on my phone that takes old looking pictures--Retro Camera--and the following are just a few I have snapped recently! She's so stinkin' cute!

The many faces of Quincy Anne!

Due Date Come and Gone

Yesterday, January 30, 2011, was Quincy's due date. Saturday, January 29, 2011, she turned seven weeks old. I honestly cannot express the whirlwind of emotion that flowed over me yesterday as I marveled at the miracle that is my tiny and perfect daughter.
She is growing, growing, growing! Q hit six lbs, and we expect that she will quickly hit seven! She has spent the past few days more and more awake. Q quietly observes her world and listens intently as Mom and Dad (and Aunt Stef right now) sing to her. She loves being talked to, and I am just waiting for her to join in the conversation. She acts as if she wants to burst out and tell me her life story! I am so ready to hear it.
We have had lots of visitors the past few weeks. Grandma and Grandpa Halasz came to spend some time with their first grandchild. It was nice to have Nick's mom and step-dad with us. They loved on our girl plenty, and I think her Grandpa Desi was quite taken with her. JB and Savanna came to spend some of that time with us as well. It is really wonderful how in love with Quincy her Uncle J is. She is one lucky girl to have him around! (Not to mention Savanna who loves my daughter as much as we do!)
The day that Grandma left, Stef and Miki Jo came to visit. The picture above is Michaela and Quincy's first meeting. Michaela is a giant compared to our little one! They are so cute together. Miki Jo isn't always sure what to think of this new cousin of her's, but she will tentatively reach out to touch Quincy's hand. It is very sweet. I am so glad that Stef is here! Mom had to leave before Quincy came home, and I didn't realize how much I needed a sister here until she got here! They are supposed to leave tomorrow, but with a snowstorm on the way, we will see if that happens. I'll take them for an extra day!
Q has been pretty congested the past few days. She hasn't really appreciated her Mom and Dad sucking the stuff out of her nose, but she does breath so much better after. She also took her first shower with Mom so that she could have the benefits of a little steam. Our bathroom is too big to just let her sit in there with the shower running. She loved it! I haven't seen her so relaxed during a bath since her first swaddle bath in the NICU.

Here is a new video of her listening to her Aunt Stef sing her a song. She is precious!

Our Growin' Girl

Baby Q grows and grows and grows every day! She is up to 3 lbs 14.8 oz, and we are thrilled! We can't wait to have 4 lb baby. She is amazing, and I am so proud of the progress she makes daily. As I chatted with the doctor this morning she made it clear that our biggest obstacle in getting her home will be teaching her how to eat. Don't worry, she gets fed, but we have just begun to bottle feed her. She isn't sure if she likes it, and it tuckers her out. Sometimes she eats quite a bit and other times she won't eat more than a few millileters. However, we won't push her to eat more than she feels like eating. Our nurse last night told us that when the babies control how much they eat, instead of being force fed like they used to, they come home faster. We are all for her coming home faster! So, now our prayers have a specific focus...please help our little girl to learn how to eat and to continue to grow healthy and strong!

Christmas Eve

Our little girl was visite by a very special man the other day. When the nurses first told us that Santa came to the NICU to visit the babies and take pictures, I was beside myself. I am often overcome with emotion these days, and the thought of having a picture of our miracle with Saint Nick was something I wished for deeply. My mom was with me, so we were able to take the picture posted above, and I just love how it turned out! We have copies from the hospital that Daddy will be able to take and hang up at work. The hospital staff really takes care of us. For example, when Mom and I went in to see Quincy tonight our nurse had presents for her parents. FOR US! I felt like we should be showering her with presents--and that still wouldn't be enough to show our appreciation--and here she is giving me homemade chocolate treats!
As of today Baby Q has been moved from her isolet (incubator) into an open air crib. This is a very big step, and I am very nervous about it. She is so strong, but I am worried about pushing her too hard too soon. I want her to be successful, and I don't want to have to move her back into the isolet...it would be a step backward. I am just a nervous mommy. She continues to gain weight daily, and we are thrilled! I can't wait until she hits four lbs.
I am sitting here watching The Muppets Christmas Carol with Mom and Nick, and this is the first traditional Christmas thing that we have done this year. It is so strange to think that tomorrow is Christmas. I will be spending the day back and forth from the hospital--Christmas in the NICU--who would have thought that this is where we would be? No one plans for these things. No one. So, I promise to try and focus on those things I should be most grateful for. There is so much. I know that. My little one is being watched over by a host of special angels--both those we can see and those we can only feel. I have my mom here. I have a loving and uber supportive partner in all of this. I have a beautiful daughter! This is a Christmas when I should just be very happy, and I am! This is also a Christmas where I will be very sad. Not because I have any right to be, but quite simply because I want my girl to be home.
Please know that I am grateful for this time of year. I am thankful for a baby born in a manger. And I am thankful for a baby lying in a crib growing, growing, growing every day.

Our Girl

My mom took this, and she posted it on Facebook. I am adding it here for those family and friends who do not have Facebook. Enjoy! I know I could watch it over and over and over again.

Some of God's Greatest Gifts...

I had to post this one as my heart is so full of love from my Father in Heaven. As I have looked back at the events that have or have not happened to Nick and I since we got married and started our life here, I realize that we have been watched over and blessed...all in preparation for this challenge in our life. Here are just a few examples.

1. I don't have a job. For a year and a half I have questioned why I don't have a job. I'm qualified enough. I'm a pretty great teacher. I had quite a few interested parties this summer, yet no job. Flash to now where I can't IMAGINE trying to be a mom with a baby in the NICU and worrying about a classroom too. I love that I don't have to worry about that. I can focus all my time and energy on my baby!

2. I literally stumbled across my doctor by accident. I had no idea who to go see or even really how to find a good doctor. In my random search, I came across my doctor's partner--who no longer delivers babies--and was referred to Dr. Read. He has been a true angel through this process! He was the only one who was able to calm my angry and frantic husband, and EVERY nurse we worked with in the hospital sang him praises! We are so blessed to have someone with his compassion and expertise working so hard to take care of me.

3. My darling friend, Ruth, reminded me today that had my long term sub job actually could have made the PIH so much worse. I would have been working everyday until Thanksgiving. So, when my long term sub job ended early, it was actually a blessing in disguise.

4. The week before this all happened I had been offered a sub job that would have lasted the entire week. I accepted the job, but afterwards I didn't feel right about it. So, I told Nick that I just didn't feel good about taking the job, and he supported me cancelling it. I would have had to worry about calling in sick for a job last minute AND I would have been on my feet all week too. That probably would have been bad.

I am sure there are countless other ways we have been watched over and blessed in preparation for all of this. I am so overwhelmed by the love I feel continuously right now. I am an emotional mess, so when I burst out in tears (and this happens A LOT) please know that my heart is really just full.

This is a picture of daddy's first diaper change. He is really good at it! Thanks to my friend, Angela, for documenting this for me!

A Quick Update

Just to keep people in the loop. I have officially been put on blood pressure meds to try and control that symptom. We will reevaluate my protien levels tomorrow through Monday and a decision will then be made as to whether I will continue my bedrest here at the hospital or at home. We are hoping for home, but I will have to be stable still for that to happen. My labs this morning were the same as yesterday, so that is encouraging! My blood pressure seems to hold steady (still high, but steady). We are just sitting tight.

It has been nice to have some visitors today, and we have plans to see more tomorrow! Thanks so much to those who have come to see us. Your support is very much appreciated!

Jen, Baby Q, and how Nick is the best hubby ever!

We have been busy this week getting the house ready for Christmas. Nick put the lights up on the house while I gasped and sighed and handed him the light clips! Needless to say, he didn't get hurt or fall despite his precarious perches. The lights look very nice! We like to keep it simple.

The inside of our house is also simply decorated, and I love it. We have our six foot fake tree, and some decorations. I got some new candles this year, and they make our mantle sparkle.

So, after getting all this finished this week, we were ready to settle into shopping and shipping off Christmas cards and gifts. The cards are in the mail! The gifts will have to wait. We have been sidetracked for what could be a very long time.



Thursday morning at around 2:30am, I woke up with some severe abdonimal cramping. They felt kind of flu like one minute and as if I was suffering from extreme hunger the next. So, I got up and went to eat something, hoping that would help. It didn't. Around 4am, I began to wonder if there was a pattern to this pain I was feeling--I have never felt contractions before, so I started timing them. I did that for about an hour before waking Nick up and filling him on what was going on. We called the on-call nurse around 5:30am. She thought I might have the beginnings of a virus that is going around, so her advice was to take a warm bath and try to get my stomach to relax. If that didn't work, then we should probably head into the hospital to get monitored.



At this point, I am 32 weeks pregnant, and up to this point, I have had a happy pregnancy. I sleep a lot, but I was lucky enough to not get morning sickness. We had some spotting issues, and while scary, they eventually went away. My weight, my blood pressure--everything has been great until lately.



When we checked into Triage and the nurses started checking things out, their first worry came because my blood pressure was REALLY high. 212/96 is not healthy. It came down in small increments, but it still isn't great. My last blood pressure reading was 141/72. My labs came back with elevated liver enzymes and protien in my urine. This was the expected result. All this does is comfirm what we alreay know. I have preeclampisia/PIH/toximia (it is known as all those things). If the protien levels in my urine spike out of control--to the 3000 level or above--then we will talk about getting baby out soon. We are not even close to that yet.



Honestly, I feel really good. I am tired, but otherwise, I feel very peaceful right now. I haven't felt this at peace for a while. In fact, for the past few weeks I have been very anxious about this pregnancy. Now we know why. And in thinking back, at the beginning, I was given a very wonderful blessing and felt a deep impression that the trials we were facing that day when I was afraid we were losing another baby, would not be the only trial to come--that before this baby came, we would have another curve ball thrown at us. Now we know why. Last week I was offered a week long sub job for this week, and I told Nick that I really wanted to take it, but something was holding me back--I just felt that it was a bad idea. Now we know why. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me and who is with me every step of the way right now. I feel His influence constantly around me and through the prayers of others. We want to thank you all for that. Thank you for thinking of us, calling, checking in, and coming to visit. We are so amazingly blessed by those around us!